Just a Doll

I told her to paint her face.  Put on mascara, eye liner, and red lipstick.  Powder your nose.  And wear sexy undies.  I want to tape this, I said.  I built Doc another martini, and we sat in my tiny apartment parlor waiting.  Eventually she came out.  She tottered on her heels.  "I'm just a doll," she said.  "I'm just a doll."  I told her to shut up.  I had had enough of her act.  She had been a pain all evening.  We had gone out to dinner at a nice restaurant.  She had picked at her food.  We stopped at the Waikiki afterward and had a couple of fish-bowl size drinks.  Rum and God knows what else.  When we left, Doc and I were in high spirits.  She didn't say two words all the way home.

When we got back to my apartment, I took her into the bedroom, and we had a little talk.  "Be nice," I said.  Then she started up again, and I got mad.  I barked at her.  She looked at me with big eyes.

Afterward she was in a better mood.  She sat in Doc's lap and played with his tie.  Her brown eyes danced.  Doc sat there with a grin on his face.  I rewound the tape and hit the play button.  I told the girl she ought to get an Academy Award.


Jack Swenson
swenjack@comcast.net

Lost In Translation

We set out for a nighttime stroll along the lake. The breeze, uncharacteristically warm for November, ruffles through the trees. "I wish we could go out on a boat tonight", I say, glancing at the empty boat docks. "I wish someone would buy us a drink", she says, glancing at all the couples walking past. 

Strolling past the massive ship housing the yacht club, we reach the bench at the edge of the dock. Looking out across the lake, with the city behind us, we talk about everything and nothing. What we want from life, what we will someday name our kids, who we will marry, where we will live.

Hours later, a cooler breeze wraps itself around the dock. Shivering, we call it a night and start the walk back towards the city.

Suddenly, a voice cuts through the stillness. "Girls, hey girls!". A man looks down at us from the deck of the yacht club. "Girls, why don't you come on up for a drink?". Not the types to turn down adventure (or a free drink), we look at each other, shrug, and head towards the ship entrance.

We manoeuvre our way up to the deck, feeling like we are in a more modern and smaller budgeted re-make of the titanic, complete with a grand entrance hall and winding staircases. We are met by the gentleman (Harry) and quickly realize that he is most definitely old enough to be our grandfather. We politely decline his repeated offer for free drinks but accept his invitation to tour the boat. 

Harry asks us where we are originally from and is overly delighted when the answer is Russia. With a wistful look in his eyes and speech not slightly slurred by alcohol, he says "I met a Russian girl, Ludmila, on the internet once". Ten minutes later, we are acquainted with all the dramatic details of the online union and its sad conclusion (Ludmila is now dating a German man). Fifteen minutes after that, when he has asked us the same questions three times and begins to ramble about Ludmila again, we decide that alcohol is the only thing that will get us through another five minutes and take Harry up on his offer to buy us a drink.

An hour and two Stellas later, we walk off the ship. "Well, at least we went on a ship", I say. We walk in silence for a minute, then she says "Perhaps I should have clarified. I would like a young, handsome man to buy us a drink".

Universe, take note.

 By Anahit Gomtsian

Sober

It was a paper box that could have held a new router or portable clock radio. There was a wall of these boxes all the same size as if one size fits all: a sumo wrestler or ballerina. On the cover of his box was an envelope addressed to the Memorial Company (Levitt-Weinstein) and the Certificate of Cremation for Tamma, done up like a prize. Inside the envelope another card Permit No. 422 signed by the Crematory.

He didn’t want to open the box and didn’t want to deal with the contents until he had thought it through but then it was Tamma and he could imagine her saying: “what the hell is your problem…do this now I’m not staying on the floor in your shitty filthy car. Put me in the ocean.”

So he thought about where. Was there a board walk so the ashes wouldn’t blow back on the beach? Did it matter? Were there rules about this stuff? Should he wait until it was dark? Say a special prayer.

He ended up on the beach in Delray by a restaurant called Luna Rosa because she loved to go there and they had spent most of their Florida time in Delray. It was raining now and so he just grabbed the box and dashed to the water and sat down on the sand and opened the box. He pulled out the clear heavy plastic bag and dropped it in the sand between his legs.

The stuff inside (Tamma stuff) looked just like the sand but not as fine. It didn’t look like ashes.

And then there was this plastic brad holding the bag together that clearly required a tool to safely remove. He could imagine a frustrated mourner just heaving the bag directly in the water or tearing the bag and having the ashes blow everywhere. So he worked the tab up the bag using his fingers like a needle nose pliers and somehow got it off.

He put his hand in the bag and let the ashes fall through his fingers. Inside the bag was a metal coin stamped ABCO Crematory 30336. With the bag open he walked into the ocean up to about his waste. He forgot his wallet was still in his jeans. He let the ashes fall into kind of a milky cover like creamer in your coffee.

He was alone with her.

She was not drunk.

No rabbi, no body in a box, no family.

Only one mourner.

By

Richard Schwachter

PS – I Love You…

‘There had been something about the bone structure,’ Rodgers mused, still immersed in a dream, ‘and the form of the eye wasn’t quite right.’

Light had already filled the room, as Rodgers woke. His eyes flickered rapidly, scanning the white ceiling. ‘Oh, the bill,’ he thought.

The foreign teachers’ Bangkok soiree had been destined to be - how had old Richards put it? - ‘a raucous evening!’ Richards, South African born, 60 odd but as straight as a rod, stern with a large lantern jaw, professor of Entomology, now teaching English to South East Asian kids. He’d arrived in Bangkok looking for the good life, and subsequently got ensnared and thoroughly fleeced by a young lady from the North East.

They’d started out at 6pm near the Phra Athit pier, quaffed an iced beer and nibbled a pungent salad. Rodgers talked about Muslim India and Moghuli cuisine, and Richards dwelt on bread. Thus they went in search of Muslim roti and settled for an aromatic Indian curry, thick nan bread and a carafe of dubious rouge.

‘That rancid gut rot, without doubt our undoing.’ Rodgers postulated, unable to move from the bed. It had been Rodgers intention to help Richards – a respite from the wife – not to get him into more trouble. Whilst pondering this a message came up on his phone:

Money, cards – all gone – R.

Rodgers put his hand over his eyes, ‘Oh my God – doubly fleeced.’

He recollected: after the wine they’d been to… ah yes, that antiquated karaoke joint – PS - I Love You – with the Elvis album covers on the wall and the half-dead clientele; just the place for Richards. Certainly, at the last sighting, he’d appeared to be occupied and thoroughly enjoying himself. The hostesses in ultra short miniskirts, were in no way antiquated; he’d left Richards in the grasp of one.

It all came back now, he’d left Richards and gone to the bathroom, thinking, ‘the bone structures all wrong.’ On leaving he’d tried to warn Richards, ‘it’s not a girl,’ but he’d been drowned out by an old Thai crooner wailing mournfully - ‘Put your sweet lips a little closer to the phone’. And Richards had responded, ‘Don’t worry about the bill,’ and pushed him out of the door.

Rodgers had dozed in the taxi, but still felt obliged to sit for a nightcap before settling in. Then – at the corner bar near his new apartment – he ran into the gym instructors’ monthly binge, he offered to pay the bill, which was readily accepted. The bill was still waiting to be settled; Rodgers didn’t have enough to clear it the previous evening.

The phone rang – Richards – Rodgers switched it off, and turned over muttering, ‘Oh God, hope Monday never comes.’

By Steve Jones